Tears in Heaven
by drakeara
Summary: Haruhi is home alone on the anniversary of her mothers death. Contemplating her loss and fears in relation to her. Songfic.


Tears in Heaven

Haruhi is home alone on the anniversary of her mothers death. Contemplating her loss and fears in relation to her. Songfic. You can find it here : http://uk .youtube. com/ watch?v=7KiJKQKRqeY (Remove spaces).

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It was a dark evening and her father was stuck at work late again. She was home alone, of all days to be home alone, on the anniversary of her mothers death. Haruhi's house was immaculate as always. Dinner long since made and consumed, her mothers shrine refreshed and given new flowers. Underneath one of the small windows, Haruhi sat with a cup of hot chocolate, watching the heavens tint rose with the sunset. She looked for a moment over to the miniature monument, and remembered what someone had once coldly said to her:

"If heaven is such a wonderful place, then when someone goes there, they'll clean forget about the world down here. After all; why would you want to remember such a dull and awful place when you have all these new memories of Paradise? We, along with all our love and effort, would inefficiently be forgotten." Would her mother still remember her and her father? It's likely that she would remember Ranka, but what of Haruhi, who was so young and gave so few memories to her mother, other than a painful birth and the troubles of parenthood? Why remember someone as plain as Haruhi, when in heaven, she could have a perfect Angel child? And Haruhi has grown and changed so much since her mother's Passing. Would she even recognise her own daughter? Tears began to form in the corner of her eyes as she thought of the idea of being forgotten by the one woman she could never forget.

"Would you know my name ,If I saw you in heaven." Haruhi, uncurled herself sadly from her sea beneath the window and kneeled in front of her mother's shrine, drink still in her hands, before continuing to sing.

"Will it be the same, If I saw you in heaven." With such sad pain, the girl looked up at the ceiling  
"I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven." She stopped to let the tears flow down her face for the briefest moment.

"Would you hold my hand, If I saw you in heaven" Her eyes fell on one of her hands as it slowly clenched into a sad, empty fist She then stumbled over as she immiditaly tried to get up.  
"Would you help me stand ,If I saw you in heaven" Her hands clenched into fists as more tears rolled down her face.  
"I'll find my way, through night and day " Slowly and undramatically, Haruhi picked herself up and walked towards the front door. She pulled on her coat and shoes, and got ready to leave.  
"Cause I know I just can't stay  
Here in heaven" The door opened, and the crying girl left. As she walked to the graveyard a mile and a half away, Haruhi began to sing again.

"Time can bring you down  
Time can bend your knee  
Time can break your heart  
Have you begging please  
Begging please!" She had arrived at her mothers grave by this line, her fist clenched above her heart and her tear filled face lifted to the overcast heavens.

Falling clean onto all fours looking at the earth between her hands, Haruhi sobbed until she began to feel oblivion pulling at her consciousness. She didn't even feel herself lay on her side and begin to fall asleep. In her dream, she stood before a massively tall blank door. He heard her mother voice on the other side, so excitedly pushed it open just a crack.

"Mother?" Haruhi croaked. The beautiful brown haired lady turned in her silky gowns and smiled sadly.

"Haruhi, my child, it's not time for you yet. Go back now Haruhi, and I'll see you soon enough." The door then began to push against her. Haru struggled, she really did, but the door clicked closed anyways, slinging Haru to the floor in front of it. Her eyes then fluttered open, to find Tamaki, her loud and flirtatious senpai leaning over her looking worried. He helped her too her feet, and checked her over.

"Beyond the door  
There's peace I'm sure.  
And I know there'll be no more...  
Tears in heaven" A few final tears ran down Haruhi's face, so Tamaki pulled her into a protective hug. The two then left without a final word. From behind the grave, an angel appeared unseen and began to sing.

"Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven" The Angel that was Kotoko gave a final sad smile at the distant site of her beloved daughters back before dematerialising back into a star that lead to heaven. Haruhi found herself looking up to that single, lone star that had a gap cleared in the clouds.

Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven


End file.
